Charlie Hahn is an elderly merchant who has fled the United States to avoid a large amount of back taxes. He moved his family temporarily to Hong Kong while he attempts to move back to his homeland of Formosa (today's Taiwan). The US government however has blocked Charlie's visa, and forced Charlie to settle his back taxes with one million dollars. But how will Charlie send the money under the noses of his three criminally-bent sons-in-law, who are out to get the family fortune at any cost?
The agency sends Kelly and Alexander to retrieve the $1M from Charlie by any means that they see fit. As it turns out, the money comes in the form of a solid gold stove, all 875 pounds of it!
As Scott and Robinson set off to bring back the gold stove to the government, the three sons-in-law attack and end up stealing the stove. While the three thugs attempt to pawn the stove, they find out that Charlie has fooled everyone by gold-leafing a cast iron stove.
After bandaging their wounds, Kelly and Alexander get a tip that a pawn shop has a familiar gold-colored stove for sale. They show up and find out that Charlie's been playing everyone for fools. But as a consolation prize, they get an opportunity to return the favor and smack the three sons-in-law around.
In the meantime, Charlie has found his way into Formosa. Kelly and Alexander leans on Charlie's daughter, Katherine, and ends up confronting Charlie in Formosa.
Okay, this guy Charlie is a pip. He's played by Philip Ahn, probably best remembered as David Carradine's Shaolin Master Kan. Ahn, by the way, is Korean, but delivers his Chinese lines with an almost flawless accent.
While the story is whimsical, there are elements that stretch the imagination. How did Charlie's three oldest daughters all end up marrying criminals? We have a British fop, a thick-headed American, and a guy named Turkey? Turkey???
And how can Kelly and Alexander both not completely check out a supposed gold stove before they haul it off? And how did the US government allow Formosa to issue Charlie a visa before they got confirmation of receiving the one million dollars?
One goof can be found during the car chase. The three sons-in-law are chasing Scott and Robinson somewhere in Hong Kong, which is reinforced by the HK-style license plate on the cars. However, the steering wheels are on the left side of the car. Also, Hong Kong has never looked so much like... American soil???
Ah, Pilar Seurat, a lovely filipina playing the daughter of a Chinese merchant... I suppose there must have been a shortage of -actual- Chinese actresses??? While her acting skills may leave a bit to be desired, at least she's easy on the eyes.
Okay, "Carry Me Back to Old Tsing Tao" may not be one of the series' best episodes, but it is somewhat funny. There are way too many plot holes and contrivances, but I Spy was never about pure logic. The episode has its funny moments, and anytime the writers name one of their characters "Turkey," you gotta give them a little bit of credit! Well, maybe not...